Last Exit to Springfield

Posted by admin at 2:07 PM on Jun 25, 2015

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Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. Oh, I'm in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don't have to listen to myself. I'm drunk. Marge, just about everything's a sin. Y'ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we're not supposed to go to the bathroom.

The Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie Show

And here I am using my own lungs like a sucker. Shoplifting is a victimless crime. Like punching someone in the dark. Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about! Yes! I am a citizen! Now which way to the welfare office? I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I work, I work. What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway. Please do not offer my god a peanut.

  • How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.
  • Please do not offer my god a peanut.
  • How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

Bart the Daredevil

Please do not offer my god a peanut. What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man? Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!

Radioactive Man

Get ready, skanks! It's time for the truth train! How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman — and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing. …And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night. Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!

  1. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
  2. Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people.
  3. Your questions have become more redundant and annoying than the last three "Highlander" movies.
Homer Alone

Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone. Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. Inflammable means flammable? What a country.