Hurricane Neddy

Posted by admin at 2:09 PM on Jun 25, 2015

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I'll keep it short and sweet — Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people. Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?* I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman.

Radioactive Man

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? Your questions have become more redundant and annoying than the last three "Highlander" movies. Inflammable means flammable? What a country. I prefer a vehicle that doesn't hurt Mother Earth. It's a go-cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction. And here I am using my own lungs like a sucker. Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.

  • Get ready, skanks! It's time for the truth train!
  • Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people.
  • How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.
  • I'm allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, uh, die.

The Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie Show

How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze. Look out, Itchy! He's Irish! Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it. Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman! Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

The Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie Show

Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use. Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There's a *New* Mexico? Here's to alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all life's problems. Fire can be our friend; whether it's toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie. Your questions have become more redundant and annoying than the last three "Highlander" movies. The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity…

  1. Hi. I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as "Smoke Yourself Thin" and "Get Some Confidence, Stupid!"
  2. Marge, just about everything's a sin. Y'ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we're not supposed to go to the bathroom.
The Last Temptation of Homer

Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2. Marge, just about everything's a sin. Y'ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we're not supposed to go to the bathroom. Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.