Bart the Daredevil

Posted by admin at 2:06 PM on Jun 25, 2015

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Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true! And now, in the spirit of the season: start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick kid. For legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold. What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?

Homer Alone

Inflammable means flammable? What a country. Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it. …And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night.

  • …And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night.
  • Marge, just about everything's a sin. Y'ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we're not supposed to go to the bathroom.
  • Marge, just about everything's a sin. Y'ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we're not supposed to go to the bathroom.
  • …And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night.

Last Exit to Springfield

The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity… Fire can be our friend; whether it's toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie. How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze. Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about! I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!

Selma's Choice

Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use. Yes! I am a citizen! Now which way to the welfare office? I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I work, I work. Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. I've had it with this school, Skinner. Low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children…

  1. Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.
  2. The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity…
  3. Inflammable means flammable? What a country.
  4. Duffman can't breathe! OH NO!
Bart the Daredevil

Can't you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city! I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix. A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds…it makes ice. Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There's a *New* Mexico?